Hare Krishna,

Regarding this topic of discussion going on here, this is the only 1 of 4 regulative principles I am struggling to follow . I am sorry I must admit it.

The other 3 are being practiced quite well. However, being married person, there are some lapses on this issue. Still being married or unmarried should not be the question.

I think most uninitiated male devotees find it very hard to practice this. But I never feel good when I break the principle. Still some times and the lapses are there. Unless both partners are devotees, it seems very hard too and more complicated to resolve the issue -following all regulative principles. But I believe good quality of chanting constantly should purify.

If any other suggestions are there, please forward.

Aspiring to be your humble servant,
Durga Basnet

Why fight with a natural gift ? I don't understand.

What higher states can one achieve by renouncing natural desires ?
Its a great feeling to be one with the universe, fused together.
So why hate sex ?

I never really checked this thread out. Wow -

Ayurveda states that sexual functions are innate to our being and sexual energy is multifaceted in function, the greater function 'not' being for performing sex acts!

Sexual energy is one and the same as bodily vitality and the very life force that keeps us alive and healthy! That's why 'all' Tonic-rejuvenative medicines are also classified as aphrodisiacs.

So - so much for the physical aspect of the all powerful urge!! No demons involved, just good ol nature at work.

Systems of yoga have techniques to purposely channel sexual energies to bring greater health and happiness to the individual, and it is said that channeling sexual energy in the right manner even enhances ones sense of compassion for the world - so its even more than physical health, its also a force of nature that if used right, promotes mental and spiritual health as well!

I'm a little confused about many of the posts on this thread that seem to be fighting sex as if it was one big lust bullet that's attacking and harming anyone who cant get up the fight to fend it off - the problem I see with that is, the whole thing is to pervasive and powerful to deal with that way, and that a major portion of this sexual desire bullet is not the enemy!!!!

It makes more sense to isolate the root cause. - All perverse sex, all sexual indulgents, all illicit sex is totally CEREBRAL!

The root cause is totally cerebral - without the precursor of the thought, none of it would happen.

The asuras were born out of the anus of Brahma.

I think the term 'get your head out of your ass' best applies here, when the mind is up the ass - its the precursor for illicit sex!

Haribol

Pamho,
AgtSP,
All glories to Sri Guru and Gauranga,
Hare krishna Mataji,
" daivi hy esa guna mayi mama maya duratyaya" B.Gita 7.14.This divine energy of mine consisting of the three modes material nature, is diffucult to overcome .But those who have surrendered unto Me can easily cross beyond it.
So unless one surrenders to Krishna , it is not possible .How do one surrender to Krishna? Just by surrendering to a spiritual master one can surrender to Krishna.A spiritual master is a representative of Krishna .That means Krishna is representing Himself through a human body to his devotee who wants to surrender to HIM externally.Internally He is residing in everyones heart as the supersoul,just witnessing all your activities and instructing you allways . And what is full surrender ?Full surrender is that one must realise that there is none other than Krishna for me to depend .One cannot do anything without HIS permission.Even to breathe ,sleep, eat ,digest,etc. For everything I have to depend on krishna .The mood is that I dont want to enjoy myself .Krishnas enjoyment and satisfaction is my enjoyment and satisfaction.So when this is the mood always ,one will check at their each and every deed ,before they go into action.In this way there is no chance to misuse our senses.Misuse of senses means ,using them for our own enjoyment.Proper use of senses means ,to use them for the enjoyment of the master of the senses.
rsikena rsikesa sevanam .Like this one can overcome Maya .Maya is Krishnas energy .So Krishna has to order her to release HIS devotee . And if one does not surrender there is no chance .And if one surrenders to His devotee ,A spiritual master,then he will be considered according to the depth of his surrender.
Hope this answer will satisfy you by the mercy of my guru.
thanking you ,
in the service of Krishna,
an insignificant beggar,
vibhooshankrishnadas.

Srimad Bhagavatam

Canto 5

Chapter 26

TEXT 20

TEXT

yas tv iha va agamyam striyam agamyam va purusam yosid abhigacchati tav
amutra kasaya tadayantas tigmaya surmya lohamayya purusam alingayanti
striyam ca purusa-rupaya surmya.

SYNONYMS

yah--any person who; tu--but; iha--in this life; va--or; agamyam-
unsuitable; striyam--a woman; agamyam--unsuitable; va--or; purusam--a
man; yosit--a woman; abhigacchati--approaches for sexual intercourse;
tau--both of them; amutra--in the next life; kasaya--by whips;
tadayantah--beating; tigmaya--very hot; surmya--by an image; loha-mayya-
made of iron; purusam--the man; alingayanti--they embrace; striyam--the
woman; ca--also; purusa-rupaya--in the form of a man; surmya--by an
image.

TRANSLATION

A man or woman who indulges in sexual intercourse with an unworthy
member of the opposite sex is punished after death by the assistants of
Yamaraja in the hell known as Taptasurmi. There such men and women are
beaten with whips. The man is forced to embrace a red-hot iron form of a
woman, and the woman is forced to embrace a similar form of a man. Such
is the punishment for illicit sex.

PURPORT

Generally a man should not have sexual relations with any woman other
than his wife. According to Vedic principles, the wife of another man is
considered one's mother, and sexual relations are strictly forbidden with
one's mother, sister and daughter. If one indulges in illicit sexual
relations with another man's wife, that activity is considered identical
with having sex with one's mother. This act is most sinful. The same
principle holds for a woman also; if she enjoys sex with a man other than
her husband, the act is tantamount to having sexual relations with her
father or son. Illicit sex life is always forbidden, and any man or woman
who indulges in it is punished in the manner described in this verse.

Devotional service definitely helps us to burn lusty desires.

However in Gita chapter 3, Krishna said a person first contemplates sense objects, then gets attached to it and lust arises due to attachment. This means the root of lust is contemplation. A person who is serious about curbing lust should stop contemplating sense objects. Ofcourse theoritically this sounds impossible but if this is applied practically with devotional service then Krishna will surely be pleased with the devotee and help him. Ultimately it is Krishna who will cut the weeds for us.

The above article is very very inspiring. Thank you for sharing such a beautiful article with all of us Mataji :)

I recently received an email from friends which I would like to share here.

By Garuda das
Posted November 28, 2003
All glories to Srila Prabhupada!

Dear assembled devotees,

I would like to share a practical way to help any sincere person become free
from sex desire. I've been developing and sharing this method with great
success for over 17 years. All you have to do is really want to. The rest is
easy. This method is full of grace as well as personal mental/intellectual
strengthening from wherever your starting point is. Please read on.
There are four aspects of sexual bad habits that we can all do without:
personal/physical, mental (thinking about it), looking at others (or illicit
material), and speaking about it (flirting). These habits have frightening
implications to our devotional lives as well as our personal mental and
physical health when they are harbored in our being as an acceptable form of
enjoyment. Please try listening to this seriously. If people can rise above
their sexual desires, they will feel their luster, confidence, and inner
bliss increasing within themselves.

A married person can also benefit from this process. As we know, Srila
Prabhupada asked us to, at bare minimum, keep sex life chaste and within
marriage. However, he taught that the highest, the way devotees can keep it
completely sacred, is to use married sex life only for procreation. For most
of us, we must start the gradual progress towards this goal by keeping our
mind, eyes, words, and deeds within the grhastha asram. Once the four kinds
of sex are strictly confined within marriage, then gradually one can
regulate them to the point of abstinence except for procreation.

In coming out of any especially dark place in regard to the four types of
sex, first of all one has to be transparent. If we are to become transparent
mediums of the Guru param-para, we have to practice and learn transparency.
It doesn't matter whether one is a swami or an uninitiated beginner on the
path of bhakti. To make progress, it is good to have what I call an
accountability partner. That can be any devotee whom you feel you can reveal
all of your thoughts to, any shortcomings you hope to rectify, or
aspirations you wish to achieve on the path.

This person should preferably be a senior devotee who you feel is the most
comfortable person to talk to about embarrassing matters with. With him or
her, you share all these things, even steadily through life, and sometimes
discuss how you are making marked progress. By being thoroughly honest and
getting this person's help/blessings, you can make advance more rapidly
towards Krishna's pleasure.

The other option is to hide your problems (especially the most dirty ones)
in the closet, hoping that one day, after years of chanting you may get
purified of the anartha (unwanted desire). This way is more difficult
because in such a case, we go on pouring fuel on the fire of those secretly
held desires as we hide them from others (by not talking about them). It's
very purifying to the soul to have an accountability partner, and as we
know, "Purity is the force."

Please note that there may be other things you wish to give up. Things like
eating at karmi restaurants (that occasional pizza) and watching television
and movies that do not tend toward enlightenment. There may be other small
adjustments of personal choice, stuff like giving up coffee or other
intoxicants, not eating too late, abstaining from refined sugar, getting a
certain amount of exercise daily, etc.

Anything that your inspired intelligence says is good for devotional service
is good to use in this quitting process (below) to bring these needed
changes about. From my experience, however, it is good to keep things simple
and start with the big root problematic thing, which we are talking about
here: the four kinds of sex (speaking, thinking, looking, and doing).
Obviously, single persons and married persons have been mentioned here. But
there are also those who are in the twilight zone: those thinking about
getting married. So if you are single and agitated, with options open, this
is good for you too. Think of it as an inner confidence builder. Being
agitated sexually, acting on it in private, and looking for a spiritual
partner is a counterproductive position. That is because attracting a
partner requires genuine confidence. One will have a lot more confidence if
one is full of luster, experiencing inner bliss, and free from the four
types of sex.

The way to quit is to first choose a date around two months away. Find a
holy day. It may be an appearance day of the Lord or of a pure devotee. Any
special day will do. Just look at the Vaisnava calendar about two months
away and see what jumps out. That is your blessed and special day. Pin that
month up visibly and put a big X on that day.

For this example, since you are here reading now, we'll choose a wonderfully
appropriate date: Wednesday, December 3. This is the advent day of Bhagavad
Gita, and it is also Moksada Ekadasi. So, from this point on you begin to
say this affirmation over and over and over: "On Wednesday, December 3, the
advent day of Bhagavad Gita, I am going to give up the four kinds of sex:
seeing, thinking, talking and doing."

This is the how an affirmation process of the deepest kind works: As often
as you think about it, say it. Just as often, you must cry out for Krishna's
mercy, so that you can receive His grace to become free. "I cannot do it by
myself, Lord, please help me."

This must immediately follow your own affirmation as a jiva, and it should
be cried out like a small child beseeching his or her mother.

We all know the story about the determination of the sparrow who set forth
to get her eggs back from the sea. Because Garudadeva came to help in the
task, it was possible. This stage in the world and in your life is a special
and precarious time. Because of this, we must proceed seriously and find
this determination within. If we do the affirmation hundreds of times per
day, we will find our true strength and determination. When that happens,
gradually our withered and atrophied intelligence will get a serious workout
and be strengthened.

Also, if you pray for help with all your heart, Sri Krishna will be happy to
help you during the affirmation and as you approach the promised day. The
roots of these weeds in the heart have been cut back, cut back, and cut
back, but not removed. Now it is time to cry out and beg Lord Sri Krishna to
pull out the weeds.

This affirmation process builds up one's intelligence and works out all the
tension that normally would be surrounding the struggle of quitting these
things forever. Our goal is to bring our determination to such a strong
point that our desire will be one with the desire of the Lord. The shower of
nectar is the clearing stage that Lord Sri Krishna will grace you with on
that day and that will remain with you. Expect it and be determined to
experience a miracle on that day.

As you initially start the affirmation you may not feel the potency of the
process, but about halfway through, the real you starts to feel it: "I am
going to give up the four kinds of sex."

Then you will know something is working. Keep praying, and also think of all
the important reasons behind this endeavor. Become introspective whenever
possible. The intelligence needs this and will become increasingly fixed up
as time goes by.

On the day you wake up, Sri Krishna will be with you, turning your old
conceptions of pleasure upside down, turning that idea of happiness in this
world inside out. Expect a miracle, a grand jewel. That jewel is grace
coming from the smiling face of the Lord and His merciful glance. You will
be free forever.

For those who are older, single, and still thinking about enjoying sex in
this world, this process may clear your mind out to encourage the rest of
you to desire only a renounced (vanaprashta) station in life.

At first, as you become free from these desires, maya's pull will seem
almost nil. Then as time goes by, you will be dead below the belt, but the
eyes may seem to be pulled to that vision, idea, talk and (hardly ever)
thought of doing. At those times when the eyes (mainly it will be the eyes)
are pulled towards that vision of the opposite sex, at that time one should
immediately pray, "O Krishna, please bless this soul with pure devotion for
You."

In this way, a constant change will be taking place. First your eyes will
want to enjoy, but then you will be offering Krishna this thing that is not
meant for your pleasure anyway. In this way, the mirror of the mind will be
wiped with glass-cleaner each time dust tries to settle. Also, this is a
great practice to increase one's compassion. Such compassion, once
increased, doesn't need a supplemental push to fend maya away. It just flows
naturally.

That's it in a nutshell. Please pick a day, say the affirmation millions of
times, and pray very hard for deliverance. Write down this date on many
pieces of paper, taping them up wherever you frequent. We cannot say the
affirmation enough, nor should we minimize its great importance. This is a
churning of the heart, bringing it to true reality. If the subconsciousness
is not churned and this (smoldering, nasty, rascal) seed of sin is not given
up for the pleasure of the Lord, we'll have to go on coveting enjoyment
throughout many more lives for a very, very long time.

For those who preach and desire truly to aid Guru and Gauranga in the
sankirtan mission, the pain of lust is an obvious obstacle. These are the
people who will be most honest with themselves, no matter what dark hole
their lust is living in. It is especially for them that I share this.

If you are kind of normal and almost desire spiritual freedom after reading
this, please take up the affirmation and prayer process anyway, and see what
it does. There's nothing to lose. Something good will certainly come from
all that praying and churning. It is my experience that it really does work
for anyone who does the affirmation and praying with all his or her heart
and at all times, and this person, being fuller in the hope of reaching
Krishna's pleasure, will realize that his or her lot in life is millions of
times better.

May Sri Krishna bless those who read this. If anyone would like to email me
and let me know that he or she is taking up this process, I'll be happy to
pray for that person. Also, I hope that others will pass this around. Kali
yuga is progressing. Surely Lord Sri Hari will appreciate and bless those
devotees who will go an extra mile to make a difference and print this and
share it with all the devotees in the temples. Please consider that there
are many devotees who are stuck in dark places with all the allurements just
one click away.